Moments

I wish I was good at scrapbooking, journaling, picture taking and the like. I want to be...love the idea of it. I love it that my daughters & daughter-in-law all seem to be good at it. I can remember so many times over the years that my children would do or say something so cute and I would think, "I have to write that down". I never did. All the wishing and regrets won't change that. But, I realize that while the exact phrase or antic may not be preserved...the moment is never lost because it's not as much the 'what' they did or said that defines the moment and makes a memory as it is 'how' those moments make up the fabric of our memories. I don't remember each cute thing said or done, but I do remember the connections made and the awe I felt as my children's individuality emerged. Those moments afforded us the opportunity to reinforce our children's worth to us as we expressed our delight in them as an individual...you know, not en masse...my famous lumping our whole crew together. My Children (and their friends) will forever remember my calling up the stairs, "kids!" or "girls!" With five children, it was just easier to handle them as a unit, but I so loved those solo moments. Just one-on-one with an emerging personality enjoying a moment that will last a lifetime. So...I don't have a scrapebook for each of my children the way I wish I did. I didn't journal all about their childhood antics. I don't even have adequate photo albums. What I do have are the memories of how the moments of their lives have woven threads of love and connection throughout my heart. Life's pretty interesting.

Life After Motherhood

Okay, I'll just have to say it. I'm almost 50. I have a couple of years to go, but I will have to confess that as I near this milestone in my life, when I think about age it's not, "I'm 47", it's, "I'm almost 50". The thing is, I love it! I don't get what all the bemoaning this age is about. I feel as though I have wonderful things ahead of me. I have accomplished several things in my life that were goals I had set for myself...now, I just feel like I'm poised to tackle more! When I graduated from High School, I knew that I wanted to be a Wife and Mom. Might not seem like a lofty goal to some...but, there you have it, that was my chosen career. I think I've done alright. I've sure enjoyed my mothering years. I have 3 children who are grown and on their own...2 more at home...one of whom turns 18 in just a few weeks. That's right, this Mom of 5 is about to have 4 children over the age of 18. Feels kind of weird. But wonderful! I am not finished with the intense mothering years by any means, our youngest is 10. It's just that when you've spent 28 years raising a family of 5....being down to that last one, well, it's like looking forward to graduation and thinking about what you want to be when you grow up! I'm young. Married young, started our family young, and now, now I can see that I have some years ahead that I will actually have some time on my hands to pursue avenues that intrigue Me. Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love raising my family. Although I have an intense love for them...I'm sorry, because I know some people proclaim proudly that their children are 'their life', my children are not my life. While I hope to forever and always be part of their lives and they mine...we raise our children to be individuals and to cling to their own family and to pursue their own goals. I'll proudly cheer them on, listen to their accomplishments and failures, be part of everything they allow me to be...but, I'm almost 50...and I have some of my own accomplishments...and probably some failures ahead of me. I do know this, I so look forward to having time with my husband without all the hustle and bustle of children and I think still looking forward to that after 29 years is an accomplishment in itself!

Circle of Life

I have this visual picture in my head from watching my mother sew as I grew up. I use to spend countless hours at the table watching her as she would make all sorts of things. I thought she could make anything...turns out she just about could! One of the things I remember seeing her do was attaching a straight pin on one end of a string and a pencil on the other and with it, she would draw a perfect circle on her fabric. So many times during my adult life when I have been caught up in the hustle and bustle of all the 'things' that are demanding my attention...I just have this flash in my mind of that piece of string that was anchored in the center of Mom's circle. By making sure that the pin was firmly in place, she could draw a perfect circle every time. When I find myself becoming overwhelmed with the little tedious tasks, I look for my 'pin'. Most of the time, that pin is in the form of the 'people' that I am performing tasks for. When I choose to focus on the 'who' and not the 'what' in life, my attitude changes as I remind myself that those people in my life are what it is all about and if I choose to anchor my thought life in my love for them, my circle certainly seems perfect! Busy, but, thank God I have so many awesome people in my life to keep me that way. Life's Good.