Jerry and I are already feeling pretty free. Having had 5 children...being down to 2 in the home feels a bit strange. Our oldest child at home turned 18 this past July and I find that I am grieving just a bit. This emotion took me a bit by surprise because having had 3 children leave home already, I'll have to be honest and say that I was not overly emotional over any of them leaving. It sounds terrible when I say it like that...but, the truth is...I was excited for each of them as they were set to pursue life on their own. I knew that they were as prepared as one can be when embarking on independence and I believed they would make wise decisions. I missed their presence in our home, but rather than dwell on their absence, I reveled in seeing what they were accomplishing and enjoyed conversing with them on a new level. They are all very interesting adults...and I love observing the paths their lives are taking. So, why the grief over my 4th child about to graduate from High School? I really think that the loss I am anticipating is for our youngest child. If you had the privilege of observing our children hanging out together...you'd realize what I am talking about. The sarcasm, nicknames and lighthearted banter when everyone is cooking, watching television or playing games as well as the fierce bond of connection that is evident when faced with adversity, is a blessing to this Mom. While I know those times will continue...and grow as our family grows, I also realize that our youngest child will spend the next several years in a much quieter, calmer home and miss out on some pretty fun times of hanging out with her siblings on a daily basis....but, on the plus side, the times when our almost 11 year old daughter is surrounded by her brother, sister-in-law, 3 sisters, brother-in-law, 3 nephews and 1 niece, may just make up for those days in a quiet home....might even make her appreciate those days! ha.
As for right now, I am just enjoying our 4th child's Sr. year...she's such a sweetie and I look forward to seeing her blossom into adulthood.
